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Archive for July, 2011

I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a friend.

I am a writer, a painter, a teller of tales, tall and true.

I am the Queen of all I that see, but also the maid, the gardener, the chief cook and bottlewasher.

I am many things, but there is one thing I am not and will never be. A man.

I have noticed of late an overwhelming trend to refer to groups of people of any sex as “you guys,” as in “If you guys would give me a minute I’ll be right back to take your order?” I have to say I really don’t like it for two reasons.

First and most obvious, I am not a “guy.” I am a woman. Even though I eschew bows, lace, all things frilly and most bright colors, except red, rarely get my nails done, and don’t have a mane of carefully coiffed hair, I am still not a “guy,” don’t want to be one, and most days thank the Good Lord that I am not one.

Second, this is Alabama, not New York, Boston, Chicago, or anywhere else north of the Mason-Dixon line where there is apparently no distinction made between the fellows and the fairer sex. We are in the Deep South. We are “y’all.”

“Y’all,” a contraction of “you all,” meaning every last little one of you, gentlemen, ladies, and children alike. Encompassing the masculine and feminine in one welcoming embrace. “Y’all” rolls off the tongue like a melodious invitation. “How would y’all like to sit on the porch with me and enjoy a cool and refreshing Tom Collins.” So nice. So civilized.

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Ahhh…Summertime.

My summers were spent at the home of my maternal grandparents, Granny and Baw to me, under the watchful eye of Sarah, their housekeeper and my companion. Most of the morning, I would wander around their expansive yard, playing house under the scuppernong arbors, catching tadpoles in the goldfish pond, or picking blackberries with Sarah for a lunchtime cobbler.

In the afternoons, though, when Sarah had gone home for the day and Granny was busy with the Garden Club or playing bridge as nice ladies are wont to do, my Baw would take me on all sorts of glorious adventures. One of our favorites, fishing.

You may not realize it, but some of the best bait in the world is the catawpa worm, the fat, green, juicy larvae of the sphinx moth, and we just happened to have a catawpa tree in our pasture. No amount of plastic worms, fancy flies, or spinnerbait can compete with a wriggling catawpa worm dangling off a hook in tantalizing captivity. So up the ladder I would go with the cricket cage to pluck the unsuspecting critters from their host leaves screeching in delight and dismay if one were to “pee” on me.

Bait in hand, we would load up in Baw’s old pickup truck, me sitting in his lap to “drive” us, and head out to wile away the afternoon with our Zebco rods and reels or, more often, just a cane pole. That evening, hot and sunburned, we would come home with our catch, usually a few nice bream or a catfish or two, to be cleaned and stowed away in the refrigerator for lunch the next day.

Nowadays, in the summer, as I sit in traffic trudging from meetings to music lessons to the grocery store listening to the sirens and horns and rap music, I long for the days of sitting by a pond with my Baw, listening to the quietude, sharing secrets and maybe a Peach Nehi, the endless days blending one into another like a hot and humid dream. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll rise up singing…and dust off my Zebco.

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I come from a land where the peach is queen. There are peach parks, peach festivals, a real live peach queen, and even a water tower devoted to her luscious, ruddy being. For several months in the summer, every magazine, cooking show, and commentary is devoted to recipes for cobblers and ice creams, tales of eating peaches over the sink, while the juices run down your arms, and equally sappy, syrupy nostalgia for our Southern sovereign and the barefoot days of old.

I, however, must profess my allegiance to another: the noble fig, the oft-ignored fruit of the gods, the red-headed stepchild of Southern culture. In my world, the Brown Turkey fig is king.

As the proud owner of the mother of all fig trees (pictured above), my anticipation begins when I see the first tiny green shoots of leaves heralding the end of winter and the coming of warmer days. With surprising alacrity, the tree leafs out,  and soon little green droplets begin to appear. That is when time stops.

For months I wait. And watch. Was there a slight color change? Are they bigger? Are they growing at all? 

Then, one day, all of a sudden like, I see the tell-tale dark purplish brown peeking out from behind a leaf! Oh frabjous day! Forget that floozy, the tawdry peach. The Queen is dead; long live the King!

Silently, unheralded by the press and stars with spatulas and catchy phrases, in all of its dusky glory, the fig has arrived to share with me its succulent, honeyed goodness. I take what I can reach. Eating them directly from the tree while the birds, bees, and wasps take the rest. I envision hot jars and pans of sugar syrup, a steamy kitchen boiling with candied delicacies.

It could be 1971. It could be 2001. But my summer, the summers in my memory and future, will always be about the fig. That is, until it’s time for scuppernongs…

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