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I am Daddy’s little girl. The first-born. The only daughter.

While everyone says I look like Mama, I am infinitely more like Daddy in temperament and personality. Daddy and I are people people. We like to talk to strangers. We like to joke. We have both been known to dance spontaneously if the right song comes on.

But what I am not is the bat-your-eyes-Daddy-buy-me-a-mink-and-a-Mercedes type of Daddy’s little girl. Not hardly.

Daddy would not stand for that.

Daddy and me

You see, Daddy didn’t buy me everything I wanted. He instilled in me the value of hard work. From mowing the lawn (all gazillion acres of it with a push mower) to scrubbing toilets, no job was too menial, no task too common for his darling daughter. As well it should have been. Daddy made sure I understood that everyone has to pitch in, no matter how laborious the task, no matter how dull, and no matter whether you just polished your nails because, as John Donne would say, I was “a part of the main” and that requires pulling your own weight.

And Daddy didn’t let me slide through school on my good looks and charm. He made sure I learned. From the first books he read to me, trailing the sentences with his finger so I could follow along, through declining nouns and conjugating verbs on past algebra and chemistry until the day I graduated from college,  Daddy always recognized my potential, even when I doubted it. Daddy made sure that I understood the value of an education, even when I was ready to quit. Daddy always encouraged me, even when I failed.

And Daddy didn’t come to my rescue every time I tried to play damsel in distress. Daddy taught me how to change my own tires, how to balance my own checkbook, how to shoot a gun. I learned how to be self-sufficient, to rely on me and only me. I learned that some hurts are too big for Daddy to make better with a band-aid and some Mercurochrome, no matter how much he might want to.  Daddy does, however, kill roaches and snakes, because that’s what daddies do – just so you don’t have to, even though you could.

And Daddy was adamant about manners. Good posture. Elbows off the table. No talking with your mouth full. Speak when spoken to. Be respectful. Why? Well, first and foremost so Brother and I didn’t act like we were raised by wolves. But also because “good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” Clarence Thomas gets the quote, but Daddy drove it home, every day.

If Daddy had cooperated with my grand life plan, by all accounts I should be driving the coastal highway through Orange Beach in a red Mercedes convertible, with perfectly manicured nails and coiffed locks, on my way to ride my thoroughbred onto a yacht while eating caviar from a silver spoon. But I am not, thank goodness.

I am far richer than that girl. I have been given gifts which will never lose their sparkle, will never wither and fade.  That is why this Sunday, Father’s Day, I will honor Daddy and all the invaluable, intangible gifts he has given me. That is why I proudly proclaim the status of my daddy’s little girl.

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The world was just waiting for me. My razor-sharp wit. My moonlight and magnolias charm. My blonde ebullience. Was there life before me? Hardly.

Or so I’d like to think.

But the truth is a harsh mistress. You see, but for a whim and a dance, little Audrey would not be.

Not just any whim, but the whim of a 16-year-old girl at a community dance who had set her sights on a tall, tanned, good-looking man six years her senior.

Mignonette and Geary the day they got engaged

And not just any dance, but a double rush dance, where the ladies were permitted to ask the gentlemen to take a turn around the floor without being thought of as being fast.

It was 1928, a leap year. A year where the calendar must be set right with an extra day. A year when women are given the rare privilege of courting men instead of vice versa (a tradition that hearkens all the way back to a little spat between St. Patrick and St. Bridget).

Mignonette (later Granny Mac to me) along with her widowed mother, brother, and sister had gone to one of the many local dances they regularly attended. It was not unusual for them to go out dancing several nights a week, school nights included. In fact, according to Mignonette’s diaries, it was not unusual for her to come home from school and make a dress to be worn out that very evening.

You see, my people are a social people. We like to joke. We like to laugh. We like to cut up and carry on. And we most definitely do not like to loll about the homestead when there is fun to be had. And in the Mobile of the twenties there was plenty to be had.

Whether it was the Germans or Swedes celebrating a ship from the fatherland come to port or the ladies of the Aileen Bright Literary Society hosting a social or the doors of the local fire station thrown open to the public, Mignonette and her siblings, chaperoned by their mother, who was not adverse to cutting a rug herself, were there.

Forty years later

So, on this particular night in this particular leap year at this particular double rush dance, Mignonette had her eye on one particular suitor, Geary. She knew him to be sure for she had dated his younger brother, Buddy, but Buddy wasn’t the one. She knew he was older, but that didn’t matter. All she knew was that she would ask him to dance.

Was she nervous? Was she bold? Did she have to steel herself up to march across that floor to where he was standing with his pals? I’ll never know.

What I do know is that she did it. She asked. He accepted. And a few years later they were standing before a judge in Pascagoula, MS, promising to love each other till death they did part some forty years, three sons, and countless dances later.

And all because of a school girl’s whim.

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