When Social Distancing Ain’t All Bad

Way back in March when the words “social distancing” came into our vocabulary, I became fairly despondent. As an extrovert’s extrovert, I couldn’t really fathom the idea of not being around people. But as much as I love socializing with all sorts of people from all walks of life, over the last few months something has slowly begun to dawn on me. 

There are some people I’m glad to be socially distant from. 

There. I’ve said it. 

Yes, the ninth lesson I’ve learned in 2020 is that there are some people I’m glad I don’t have to be around. (Read the previous eight here).

And I’m sure there are some people you’re happy to not be around as well.

Now don’t worry. I don’t really have (too many) specific people in mind. I’m really thinking about types of people. People like …

Negative Nelly

You know her. Everything is always gloom and doom. If something bad happened to you, it happened to her ten times worse. The light at the end of the tunnel is always a train, and if you’re having a parade, she’s the rain. 

Gossipy Glenda

She’s all up in everybody’s business and spreads it like the town crier. No secret is safe with her. In fact, all your secrets are in grave danger if you’re foolish enough to confide in her. And almost worse than her gossiping, she tries to pick you for information to blab all over town. 

Selly Sally

Whether it’s Avon or Arbonne, Tupperware or time shares, raffle tickets or real estate, she’s always trying to make the sale. She doesn’t want to have coffee with you for fun. She doesn’t want to hear about your life. She doesn’t even really want to be your friend. It’s all just a ploy to get you in her tier or to her open house or to reel in a referral. 

Hands McGee

This guy always hugs you just a little too long or is just too touchy in general. It’s not friendly. It’s creepy and gross. He makes inappropriate comments about your appearance and hasn’t yet learned that your eyes are above your collarbone, not below it. 

Uncle Sam

Politics. Politics. Politics. Whatever side you’re on, he’s on the other. He’s never met a credible news source he liked, but he can spout memes and headlines and conspiracy theories like a champ. He can turn your gentle “pass the gravy please” into an hour-long lecture on some -ism or the other faster than you can say “giblet.”

And I’m sure you can add a few more to my list. A global pandemic is just about the best excuse I can think of to put a little distance between me and a few folks. Lucky for us, right?

It’s really not you … it’s me! I’d hate to get you sick!! Gotta stay safe! Six feet and all that!

Works like a charm every time!

*Note that while I am making light of our current situation for comedic effect, social distancing is a very serious matter and a very real way to prevent the spread of COVID-19. I encourage all y’all to wear your masks, social distance, and not let your guard down so we can all come together again sometime sooner rather than later. 

(This year for #BlogLikeCrazy, I’m talking about 30 lessons I’ve learned in 2020. Read the other entries here).

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