Southerners “believe more in the reality of Satan than in the reality of God.”* These words were written by Episcopal bishop of Arkansas Robert R. Brown. Having spent more than one Sunday on a hard pew listening to a red-faced, sweating preacher warning of hellfire and brimstone from the pulpit, I tend to agree. So … Continue reading Speak the truth and shame the devil
Tag: Southernisms
We just stepped on their face with a hobnailed boot!
If football is the religion of the South, then it’s only natural that we get a few proverbs from its playbook. Since it’s Saturday, here are some football terms that have entered our everyday lingo. Let’s go to church. Back up and punt. When the offensive team has failed to make a first down and … Continue reading We just stepped on their face with a hobnailed boot!
Trying to turn mutton into lamb
Today’s idiom involves etiquette which, in the south, is gospel. Our commandments not only include the big ten, but a litany of others ranging from using the right fork to sending thank you notes. There are certain things you do … and certain things you just don’t do. Ever. No matter if the rule of … Continue reading Trying to turn mutton into lamb
The pot, the kettle, and the coffee
Personification. That’s what you call it when you assign human characteristics to inanimate objects. It’s also the root of two of my favorite idioms and what makes them so interesting. The first phrase sets up a little quarrel between two kitchen items — “it’s a case of the pot calling the kettle black.” When people … Continue reading The pot, the kettle, and the coffee
I don’t know whether to…
For more than a year, we’ve been knee-deep in election coverage. We’ve endured debate after debate after debate. The pundits have analyzed the pea turkey out of every minute detail. The polls, oh...the polls. Families and friends quit speaking to each other. Social media exploded with hate, bigotry, and vitriol. Urban militias were formed. Women … Continue reading I don’t know whether to…
Nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs
A cat will suck the very breath out of a baby and kill it. No, wait. If a cat jumps over a grave, the occupant will rise again, vampire-like. Or is it that a cat will steal your soul? Whatever it is, Southerners have traditionally been deeply suspicious of cats. Mawmaw Atkins refused to even … Continue reading Nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs
Too poor to paint and too proud to whitewash
I have idioms for my idioms. This thought occurred to me this morning while I was in the shower. That’s where I do my best thinking, where I get my best ideas. And this morning I was thinking about the phrase “Too poor to paint and too proud to whitewash.” It’s like being between a … Continue reading Too poor to paint and too proud to whitewash
All the things you’re not supposed to say
Southerners won’t hesitate for a minute to comment on someone’s appearance. Yes, we know it’s rude. That’s why we’ll spare your feelings by talking about you behind your back. You know how it goes — if you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me. I know. I know. It’s terrible. It’s bad. … Continue reading All the things you’re not supposed to say
If I tell you a chicken dips snuff…
Yardbirds are about as common in southern speech as they are on the Sunday dinner table, so just between us chickens, here are a few sayings regarding our favorite fowl. If I tell you a chicken dips snuff, you can look under his wing for the can. No matter how outlandish, no matter how fantastic, … Continue reading If I tell you a chicken dips snuff…
Piss on you from a high oak tree
Piss on you from a high oak tree. What a powerful way to express contempt. That's why this idiom works it’s way into my conversation whenever the need arises to tell someone to go to hell. And the need does arise. I had heard people say “piss on you” before, but until I read Mary … Continue reading Piss on you from a high oak tree