As I look back through the photographic record of my childhood, I see a distinct pattern. To commemorate most every special occasion, I was hauled out in the yard, strategically placed in front of something blooming with seasonal flowers, and commanded to stare into the sun until my retinas burned away, all while trying to … Continue reading Happy Easter…now go stand by that bush
Year: 2012
The clock is ticking
My biological clock is ticking. Ticking like a time bomb. No, not that biological clock. I've had my baby and as absolutely wonderful in every way as he is, one is plenty, thank you very much. I'm talking about a powerful hankering that comes over me about this time every year - about the time … Continue reading The clock is ticking
Enter the painted lady
Every town has one. She's a little too loud. A little too bawdy. She uses a little too much of what Granny referred to as "face paint." That's what makes her a painted lady. That's what makes all the nice ladies stay inside and shun her. Well, in the last few weeks, Mother Nature's very … Continue reading Enter the painted lady
You got to recognize
I have a love-hate relationship with voice recognition technology. I love that it is, in theory, an easy and convenient way to avoid having to use the keypad or talk to a human should you actually have the misfortune to reach one. I hate that while it recognizes that I do indeed have a voice, … Continue reading You got to recognize
The new wild
He was bad. Not wife beating, bank robbing bad, but rebellious bad. Wild bad. He worked at the Courtesy Food Store and looked clean-cut enough in his short-sleeved white shirt and black tie. I'd see him when Mama did her shopping and sometimes when he was walking home along the railroad tracks. But even though … Continue reading The new wild
The f-word
Lent is upon us. The bon temps have roulered and now it is time to pray, reflect, repent, and give up. In past years I have given up cokes, sweets, and criticizing - not necessarily in that order. This year, after careful consideration and soul-searching, I have decided to give up that which calls me … Continue reading The f-word
Black and white and read all over
Today is Valentine's Day. A day for romancing, woo pitching, undying love pledging. And for more than one excited girl, I'm sure, her knight in shining khakis will drop down on one knee, present her with a sparkler, and say the most anticipated four words - Will you marry me? She will scream and probably … Continue reading Black and white and read all over
Leap of faith
The world was just waiting for me. My razor-sharp wit. My moonlight and magnolias charm. My blonde ebullience. Was there life before me? Hardly. Or so I'd like to think. But the truth is a harsh mistress. You see, but for a whim and a dance, little Audrey would not be. Not just any whim, … Continue reading Leap of faith
I can drink gasoline
Leroy was Granny's yard man. He was jolly, always quick with a joke or a funny rhyme. He believed that if you hung a dead snake over a tree limb it would rain. He believed that garlic kept the haints away. He had biceps as big as tree trunks, or so it seemed to me, … Continue reading I can drink gasoline
A firm foundation
We are all familiar with the parable of the wise man who built his house upon the rock from the Gospel of Matthew. The rock in the story is, of course, the teachings of Jesus. But ladies, I'm here to tell you that this principle applies to many things, chief among them fashion. Just as … Continue reading A firm foundation