From gravy to grace

In honor of Mother’s Day, I present you with

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM MY MAMA

1. If you can make a white sauce (bechamel  to the hoity toity), you can make anything. Cheese sauce, gravy, cream soups – all variations on the lowly white sauce. Master the basics, and you’ll look like a gourmet.

   

2. Use eye cream every day and every night. Religiously. As if your life depended on it. You might be 18 now and think you don’t need it, but you would be wrong. Mama is…well, she’s not 18 anymore, but she’s as beautiful as any woman half her age. Of course, a lot has to do with inner beauty, but eye cream has played a big part in the outer beauty.
3. Sometimes you just have to buck up. Mama has always been very sympathetic to my whining and pouting and gnashing of teeth – to a point. I know, however, that I have exhausted her patience and made an utter fool of myself when she finally says, “You just need to buck up.” She’s right. I do. And it has always served me well.
4. There is no wrong time to eat ice cream.
5. Often it is better to just keep your mouth shut. These days we feel compelled to “express ourselves” and have “talks” ad nauseum about every little emotion, thought, or perceived injustice that flits through our vapid little minds. There are, however, things that, once said, can never be unsaid. Don’t say them. You will save yourself a lot of grief and drama. If you must say them or fall over dead, run out in the woods where no one can hear you and holler them out.
6. If you have a tummy ache, it can be cured by lying down in a dark room with a pillow on your stomach. Or eat a bread pill.
7. Hens lay, people lie. (Ref. #6 above.) Proper grammar and usage is invaluable.
8. Children should be seen and not heard. “Oh, but little Sally Mae is an interesting and valuable member of our family and society in general, even if she is only five.” I’m sure she is, but little Sally Mae will learn infinitely more in her lifetime if she will first learn to shut up and listen.
9. Lipstick is essential.
10. Pay attention to details. The devil is in them to be sure, but something worth doing is worth doing right.
11. There is a lot to be learned from The Psalms. Take the time to read them when you need to find a little extra grace or the courage to buck up.
12. Being a mother is not always easy or fun. But if you raise your children with the singular goal of molding them into the sort adults you would like to have as companions – as friends – everything will turn out alright in the end.